this is the end

Ok, so it's been a while since I last wrote, and I finally decided that it's time to end this blog. As much as I enjoyed writing it, I also promised myself that it would only be a summer-thing to document my time with CSM in Chicago. To all of you who read this at some point this summer, i hope you enjoyed my crazy antics and jumbled thoughts.

I miss Chicago and our ministry sites there and the amazing sense of purpose I had every day. I miss the directors and the other AMAZING CSM staff. (click here to read about 'em) I miss who I was while working in Chicago, and I miss how much I got to live out my faith each and every day.

Being back isn't easy- not at all. For awhile I expected it would be, but I was fooled. But one thing I learned this summer is to always be optimistic and rejoice in every situation, because no matter how bad things get, God has blessed me way too much to dwell on the difficult parts of my life. So as I go on this semester, I plan on looking at the good in my life, holding on tight to the memories of this summer, and fighting to be the person I grew to be in Chicago and not compromise that here in Madison.

And with that, it's time to sign off from this blog forever with one of my favorite verses from this summer:

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. ~Psalm 62:5-6

Praise be to God for His blessings and faithfulness this summer! Continue praying for the city and people of Chicago.

Peace-out, Maria :)

a glimpse of the summer- part 2

cafe victoria- 3 times a week!



CSM staff-ers on worship night




working hard in the staff lounge



anthony- my favorite little boy!



our directors- keysha, taylor, and jarret

a glimpse of the summer

me and my summer roomie- Mackay (megan)



chillin' in the guy's apartment after a long day's work!



doing a little modeling in our spare-time



the beautiful skyline from the John Hancock building



some of my favorite girls in the world- the other CSM staff!



throwing a party in my livingroom for McKenny's 21st



ash and I sleeping on the backporch- it was a HOTT summer



all the staff on our weekend camping trip



pole dancing ;) on our week-end retreat!



ash and some kids at CCO

eyes

So it's a little after the two-week mark since I have been done working in Chicago. It seems so much longer. How can the memories of something so amazing fade so fast? I hate the fact that memories fade. I wish God gave us the ability to remember everything we have ever done forever, so that when we wish, we can reach back into our memory and re-live those moments that made us happiest, taught us the most, and formed the person we are. I seem to always be looking ahead, but I wish I would stop and look back more often on all the experiences and people God has used to shape me and all those moments he spoke to me or showed me something. One thing from this summer that keeps coming back to me (to the point that it is annoying) is a poem we read while giving prayer tours of Chicago. It's called "Eyes", and despite the fact that I unwillingly memorized it after saying it week after week, I am half-heartedly glad I did. It's written by a homeless person in Chicago and was published in Streetwise, a newspaper sold by homeless licensed vendors. Part of each $1 spent on Streetwise goes back to the vendor so they can have a small income. So here it is...

Look me in the eyes at least,
when you pass me by on the street
whether or not you answer my plea for money:
my eyes are the poorest of me-
require only your two cents when we meet-
and are more in dire need of these than your feet.
my poor eyes! how they have spent the rent
trying to buy a pleasant remembrance
to throw up on my mind's screen when I finally tire
of going ungreeted, unseen.
I tell you what I want- what I feel
when you shuffle by behind your paper
trying to be discreet, sweating slightly
under your suit collar and looking down,
always down, as if I were your sin...
be absolved of the guilt trip! look at me!
make me a mint! shower me with riches!
give me a long look, and drown me in it!
dignity outlasts dollars.

There are 80,000 homeless people in Chicago in the course of a year and 15,000 on any given night. For those 15,000, there are only 6,500 shelter beds. 45% of homeless people are single men, but 40% are families with children. The saddest thing is that the average age of a homeless person in Chicago is only 9 years old. The leading causes are lack of affordable housing and the lack of decent jobs or a sufficinet income. It doesn't help that the city is tearing down all the projects.

nine... and homeless... can you even imagine?

this world

So every sunday night and sometimes monday afternoon we gave a prayer tour of the city of chicago. We either went around the north side or the south side and showed groups the city- both the rich and the poor, the problems, the ministries and churches, the people... Students really got a chance to learn about the dynamics of Chicago and what really goes on in the city beyond Michigan Ave. shopping and the view from the Sears tower. The most powerful part of the prayer tour for me was the end of the South-side prayer tour. We go past a lot of the projects on the south side prayer tour and hear a lot about the problems of homelessness and segregation and other issues, but we end the prayer tour by traveling up Michigan Ave. and pointing out the disparity between the rich and the poor in the city. It is amazing how much disgust you feel towards Michigan Ave. after seeing the "rest" of the city and how people really live in Chicago. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford one of the 1.5 million dollar condo's of the "Gold Coast" or a $2000 handbag from Gucci on MI Ave. After driving over the Chicago River bridge, we play the students a song and let them reflect on what they've seen on the prayer tour. The lyrics are below, but if you haven't ever heard "This World" by Caedemon's Call, you should get ahold of a copy:

There's tarnish on the golden rule
And I wanna jump from this ship of fools
Show me a place where hope is young
And a people who aren't afraid to love

This world has nothing for me and this world has everything
All that I could want and nothing that I need

This world is making me drunk on the spirits of fear.
So when he says who will go, I am nowhere near.

This world has nothing for me and this world has everything
All that I could want and nothing that I need

And the least of these look like criminals to me So I leave Christ on the street

This world has held my hand and has led me into intolerance
But now I'm waking up, but now I'm breaking up
But now I'm making up for lost time

This world has nothing for me and this world has everything
All that I could want and nothing that I need